Hello December!

Hey everyone! Alyssa JoJo here. We had a little hiatus there! It's just that time of year where everyone is busy. Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and Christmas topped off with crazy family, annoying family, and there are SO MANY GIFTS to wrap. But finally we are back at it. This week we both are just going to do some random recipes - because I'm broke and I'm using one that I had saved up. Next week you will see us both making the same thing on two different budgets like we originally planned. Hey, this is all new to us - we're getting there!

My first post of this month is something I don't have any pictures for. But it's delish and it will get you pretty drunk quickly!

Ingredients:
2 bottles of Moscato (I did barefoot because it's cheap and still good)
1 pink lemonade from concentrate
Half of a liter of Sprite
Fresh strawberries

Add all ingredients into a pitcher and drink up! Very tasty and fun for a get together and still easy to make. We even added in some hibiscus flowers that my friend had left over which gave this a nice sweetness to it.

Mandarin Orange Salad

One of the Thanksgiving side dish mainstays in Mama Lanette’s family of freaks is a Mandarin orange salad.  It is a yearly request, nay, demand by both Alyssa JoJo and Grandma JoyJoy.  I am NOT allowed to experiment with anything new…ever.  Alyssa JoJo would not touch this when she was growing up, and one year she decided to “try it” (as she said with her freckled nose all scrunched up).  Her post-taste thoughts?  “I’m only mad that I went so many years NOT eating this!”  While the combination of fruit mixed with vegetables sounds odd to many people, it seems to be much more common on restaurant menus now than in the past (spinach and strawberry salad is my personal fave, but arugula with cherries and pistachios is a pretty close runner up).  Almost everybody who tries this salad loves it, and because of the “tiny oranges”, children are more apt to give it a shot.  I’ve altered this a bit from the original; using red onion and flavored vinegar rather than green onions and plain vinegar, but the end result, no matter which version is made, is delicious.  Oh, and I also use green leaf rather than iceberg lettuce (see lettuce rant below).

Lettuce Rant!  I cannot post this in good faith without including a small rant regarding iceberg lettuce.  Iceberg lettuce has zero nutritional value, as well as zero taste.  It is nothing but water and turns rusty brown within minutes of chopping.  It serves no purpose whatsoever as far as I am concerned.  Stop buying that crap, freaks!!!  Get yourself some green leaf or romaine.  Buy a bag of mixed baby lettuces.  Anything, anything other than iceberg lettuce!  When I go to a restaurant and order a salad and they bring it to me with iceberg, I literally want to throw it at the server.  These days, before ordering, I ask what kind of lettuce they use.  Yes, it results in some odd looks, but I just don’t care anymore.   The SOB would be more than a little irked if he had to pick Mama Lanette up at the po-po station because of a lettuce-induced public fiasco.  Also, seriously people?  Stop being a salad racist!  In the words of the wise and hysterical Margaret Cho, “This is not the salad of my people.”  Just because it has Mandarin oranges on it does NOT mean you can call it an Asian salad.  Do we call a hunk of tasteless iceberg lettuce drowned in Ranch dressing and Bac-O’s a Caucasian salad?  I think not.  Leave the salads out of the compartmentalizing process that seems to be the norm, and just eat them.  They are delicious and good for you…enough said.

Mandarin Orange Salad Ingredients

Sugared Almonds

½ cup sliced almonds

3 tablespoons white sugar

Salad Base

½ head green leaf lettuce

½ head romaine

1 cup celery, chopped

½ small red onion, very thinly sliced into half rings

1 11 ounce can mandarin oranges, drained (If I know a lot of kids will be around, I put two cans of mandarin oranges in.  It keeps them from picking all the oranges out, leaving none for the serious salad eaters.)

 

Dressing

½ teaspoon salt

Dash of black pepper

¼ cup extra virgin olive oil

1 tablespoon parsley, chopped

2 tablespoons white sugar

2 tablespoons vinegar, for this post, I used Raspberry blush vinegar, but red wine, balsamic, pomegranate, apple cider, virtually any kind of vinegar will work…just use what you have or what you like, and you will not be disappointed.

Dash of hot sauce (such as Tabasco), or not.  I’ve found it really doesn’t make a difference in the flavor of the dressing.

In a small pan over medium heat, cook almonds and sugar, stirring constantly until almonds are coated and sugar dissolved.  Watch carefully, as they WILL burn easily.   Listen up, freaks, I know this from personal experience and am trying to spare you the frustration of a failed sugared almond experience.  You can stand there and stir and stir and stir, it will look like it is doing nothing, and as soon as you turn your back to throw back a slug of Riesling, bam…burnt nuts!  If this part of the recipe seems like too much work for you, you can purchase honeyed almonds, or just use plain sliced almonds.  No shame included…I’ve done it myself upon occasion.  Cool and store nuts in an airtight container. 

Mix all dressing ingredients and chill.  For me, the easiest way to blend dressing is to place all ingredients in a jar or plastic storage container that has a screw top lid.  Once all ingredients are added, shake, shake, shake, shake it like a Polaroid picture, hey ya!  (I really miss Outkast, what happened to them?) It will separate, as oil and vinegar naturally will, but you know what?  Shake that bitch up again!  That is the beauty of the process, no whisk or special emulsifier needed…just an old jelly jar or screw top plastic storage container (the Ziploc brand are rather spectacular for preventing leaks, I must say).

Mix lettuces, celery and onions in a large salad bowl.  Now, regarding the lettuce…if you want to use only romaine, then do so.  If you want to use only green leaf, then do so.  Use any lettuce and any combination of lettuce that is easiest for you…except for iceberg.  Please don’t make me come over and go Reservoir Dogs on your ass.

Just before serving, top with oranges and almonds.  Toss with dressing.  Sit back and watch the wondrous splendor that flits over your guest’s faces after they have chewed and tasted their very first bite.  As an aside, if you serve this salad to a large group of peeps, some of whom have had it before, and some of whom have never had it before, let the never hadders get their servings first.  I’ve found that once it is set out for eating, the Mandarin orange salad lovers swoop over it like birds of prey over roadkill, leaving nothing but a lone shred of lettuce and perhaps an onion slice in the bowl. 

Stay tuned over the weekend and early next week, fellow freaks!  Alyssa JoJo and I have a plethora of last minute ideas for you!  <3  Mama Lanette

Green Bean Casserole

Green Bean Casserole has got to be by far my favorite holiday dish. Something that I love so much that it's made for every holiday and there's always a comment about how it's, " Alyssa's fav." A couple of years ago I started being the person who made it everything Thanksgiving. It was easy and cheap to make for my low budget. Slowly I started playing around with it and I feel like I perfected it! I could eat this every day if it wasn't for the fact that I think my thighs would gain an inch every week.

Ingredients:
3 cups of fresh green beans
One tablespoon of soy sauce
1 can of cream of mushroom
One container of french onion crisps
Half of a cup of chopped mushrooms
One cup of milk
Salt and Pepper to taste

Mix cream of mushroom, soy sauce, mushrooms, milk, and 1 cup of french onion crisps into a casserole dish. Mix until nice and smooth. Add salt and pepper to taste and mix well again.

Add in green beans and cook at 350 degrees for about 30 minutes covered. Do not add any onion crisps to the top at this point.







After 30 minutes has passed take casserole out of the oven and smother the top with the rest of the onion crisps. Bake for another 10-20 minutes uncovered. Make sure to check often so you do not burn the top of the casserole.

Enjoy!!!
- AlyssaJoJo

Beloved Brussels

I am a lover of the Brussels sprout!  There, I’ve said it!  When I am wandering the local farmer’s market in the late summer/early fall and see those little babies for sale (still attached to their stalk in many cases), I literally squeal in delight.  They are an extremely underrated and unnecessarily disliked vegetable, and I think it is due from past generations of mothers over boiling them into an avocado-green colored mush.  Perhaps this was so they matched the 70’s avocado-colored kitchen appliances so popular at the time, as I remember many veggies being served with the same unappealing greenish hue when I was a child (broccoli and green beans included).  The accompanying smell of an overcooked Brussels sprout is not very appealing, nor appetizing.  To be quite honest, it smells like ass.  However, a properly cooked Brussels sprout tastes and smells nothing like its overly cooked counterpart.  If you like cabbage or asparagus, you will like roasted Brussels sprouts.  I would promise this, but I know many of you have preconceived hatred toward them and swear you will not like them no matter what…so be it.  My sister and I actually used to call them baby cabbages when we were little, and that is how I got Alyssa JoJo to eat them when she was a tot.  Really, putting the word “baby” in front of anything implies something special is about to come, don’t you think? 

Anyway, Brussels sprouts have become a repeat Thanksgiving dinner side dish over the past few years with me and mine.  Some people eat them, some don’t, but they are always available.

If you think Brussels sprouts may be something the diners at your Thanksgiving table will appreciate, please try this recipe!  It is incredibly simple.  If you don’t have the oven space, you can prepare them in a skillet instead of roasting in the oven.  I have even made them on the grill with positive results.  The squeeze of fresh lemon juice and sprinkling of parmesan really complements the sprouts and pulls all the flavors together. 

Ingredients:

1 pound fresh Brussels sprouts, cleaned and halved

1 shallot, sliced

2 tablespoons olive oil

1 lemon

¼ to ½ cup Parmesan cheese, shredded

Salt

Pepper

Preheat oven to 450 degrees.  In a large bowl, toss Brussels sprouts, shallot slices, olive oil, salt and pepper to taste.  Spread on a baking sheet and roast for approximately 30 minutes, until Brussels sprouts are browned and starting to get crispy.  You can cook them longer if you want, as the crispier they are, the more flavorful they become, but be careful not to burn them.

Remove from oven and transfer to a serving dish.  Squeeze lemon juice over sprouts and top with parmesan cheese.  Serve immediately.  Yummy!!

Tip:  If you don’t have a shallot or know what one is, you can use a small white onion, but the shallot is well worth the effort.  They brown up nice and crispy and have a spectacularly mild flavor that compliments the sprouts.  I highly recommend them, although they can be a bit pricy in some areas, so if you use a nice sweet onion, it will work also.

Next week, fellow freaks!  <3 Mama Lanette

Fabulous Reheat!

Just a brief note to my fellow freaks...  Tonight I am having one of those moments of fabulousness that comes from grabbing a frozen tuna hotdish from the freezer and popping it into the oven for dinner.  Ah yes...see what I mean?  I had no desire to cook dinner this evening, as I have a lot of schoolwork to complete, and am very tired and cold, but instead of eating sandwiches or ordering delivery food, I was able to provide the household with a warm, homemade meal, simply heated in the oven and served with a salad and some rolls.  They'll never know ;-)

Now, doesn't this look better than some mystery meat fast food Chinese delivery???

Later, Freaks!  <3 Mama Lanette

Thanksgiving Diatribe

Here in the Midwest, summer is officially over, Halloween is done and gone, the trees are bare, and it is dark at 5 p.m.  This is most certainly not my favorite part of the year.  I much prefer temperatures in the 80’s and sun until 9 p.m. over below zero temps and the cold, icy dark before even getting home from work.  Fortunately, there is a handy distraction that is called “the holiday season,” and it is well underway.  Mama Lanette and Alyssa JoJo always hit their true foodie personas and start planning the Thanksgiving meal at the stroke of midnight on November 1. (ring…ring…”Hello?”, “Oh my God, I got the new *insert food magazine title here* Thanksgiving Edition in the mail today!!”)  

This is OUR holiday.  Mama Lanette has been making a Thanksgiving Dinner for Alyssa JoJo since 1990, and before that, Mama Lanette’s mother, Grandma JoyJoy, prepared a splendid meal.  Being from Wisconsin, Thanksgiving has always been a fairly testosterone-free holiday, as Hunting Week is the week of Thanksgiving, and the men in the family were always up north deer hunting.  Although it was only my mother, my sister, and me at home, we always had a full blown Thanksgiving meal all the way down to polishing the silver and setting the china on the formal dining room table.  Thanksgiving is something we have never skimped on, and the tradition has been firmly implanted into Alyssa JoJo’s soul.

Today our Thanksgiving holidays are more fun than ever, as instead of two generations in the kitchen, there are now three, adding an extra element of family bonding and fun.  Each of us has a role in preparing the meal; Grandma JoyJoy cleans and does the nasty stuff to the turkey that causes Mama Lanette to start gagging and run from the room, prepares a pie or two, and gets some rolls rising to throw into the oven.  Alyssa JoJo makes her special green bean casserole (which is NOT your basic cream of mushroom soup and canned beans of the past) and does random tasks such as setting up the appetizer table and making sure it stays stocked with goodies.  Mama Lanette prepares side dishes and appetizers galore.  Mama Lanette’s sister brings desserts and appetizers, or whatever item seems to be missing from the menu.  The SOB even has a role in our day.  Some would say he has the most important role of all:  Liquor Store Trip Maker.

Testosterone is back with the introduction of boyfriends, in-laws, and SOB’s into the family.  A pre-dinner appetizer open house began a few years ago for family members and friends who have other obligations but still want to stop over and have a cocktail and snack.   It is a holiday that is open to anyone who wishes to make the journey, involving as many friends as family. It is a fun and relaxing day that ends with all of our butts and guts groaning due to the very large food babies firmly lodged in our stomachs, the added weight testing the support structure of the living room furniture.  To this date, no piece of furniture has ever broken under the increased stress of a Thanksgiving dinner in this house; however, I cannot say the same for my Auntie’s home at Christmas.  Almost every damn year a chair in her dining room breaks, and every year I exhale a sigh of relief that it wasn’t me. 

So, in case you haven’t figured it out yet, this is the official kickoff of the Feeding the Freaks…Thanksgiving Edition!  Join us this month as we share some of our most beloved recipes of the past, and newer recipes that we have researched and/or created just for you!  It is going to be a month full of history and history in the making, so stay tuned fellow freaks!  You won’t regret it!   <3 Mama Lanette

Yummy Mummies

So, Mama Lanette had a Halloween Potluck at her day job today, which required a lot of extra thinking and creativity.  After all, the Feeder of the Freaks cannot show up at her Halloween Potluck with just any old thing!  I have a reputation now, and I must live up to it…(tapping pencil) what to do…what to do???

Being the Midwestern, raised-on-beer-with-a-frighteningly-high-alcohol-tolerance, good-time gal that I am, the first thought that came to mind was Caramel Apple Jello Shots.  Sounds delish, but alcohol at the work place is somewhat discouraged (watch for this recipe in the very near future, though).  Peanut butter eyeballs?  Eh, been there, done that.  After days and days of ruminating and pondering, a black light bulb suddenly popped on over my head!  Mummy bread!  If people can turn bread dough and fillings into stuffed braids, why can’t the braid also be altered to look like a bandaged up mummy?  Oh, the possibilities!!!  What to stuff them with?  Savory or sweet?  Fruity or chocolate?  Meat filled or (oh, the horror!) vegetable filled?

Well, as Mama Lanette does when faced with indecision, she sighs, takes a very deep breath, blindly dives in, makes many of each, and hopes for the best. The end result?  A delicious Apple Yummy Mummy and a Pizza Yummy Mummy; both of which were well received at the potluck, and formally named Yummy Mummies.  The Pizza Yummy Mummy won favor hands down, though.  (The SOB ate an entire Pizza Yummy Mummy the evening before while Mama Lanette was experimenting.)  The Pizza Yummy Mummy disappeared from the potluck table in 10 minutes flat, which is something spectacular because the people I work with can make some REALLY TASTY FOOD.  The Apple Yummy Mummy, while delicious, was surrounded by several competing delectable desserts, so there was a bit of that one left.  Finding the lucky recipient to take the remainder home was a fairly simple task, however.  I really didn’t want to bring it home, as I’m still recovering from the Minnesota State Fair Feeding Frenzy of 2012.

Once the technique of the dough is grasped, the number of Yummy Mummies flavor possiblities is endless.  They can virtually be stuffed with anything you would want on a pastry, pizza, taco, etc.  Anything that tastes yummo on top of bread is just as delish inside of bread.  It can be as simple or as complicated as you choose to make it.  Make your own dough, buy frozen bread dough, or use cans of poppin’ fresh refrigerated dough.  Whatever kind of dough you use, the end result is going to be one heck of a yummy mummy!  Below are the recipes for the two I made and brought to work; however, BE CREATIVE, fellow freaks!  If you keep listening to what I tell you to do and follow my advice blindly, I may just develop a superiority complex, and trust you me…nobody who knows me wants that to happen…ever.

Apple Pie Yummy Mummy Ingredients (makes 1)

1 pound frozen bread dough, thawed (I used Rhodes brand sweet bread dough)

1 can apple pie filling

Powdered sugar for dusting

Two eye shaped things, like chocolate chips, toasted almonds, maraschino cherries, etc.

Egg white

Pizza Yummy Mummy Ingredients (makes 1)

1 pound frozen bread or pizza dough, thawed (I used Rhodes brand pizza dough)

½ to 1 cup pizza sauce, depending on how well you like pizza sauce (I’m a saucy kinda gal)

½ pound hot Italian Sausage, browned and crumbled

½ package sliced pepperoni, or 1 diced pepperoni link (comes in a package of 2 links, but they last a long time, so don’t worry about the extra going bad…or just make two of the damn things, for crying out loud.

½ pound mozzarella cheese, shredded or very thinly sliced.  To make things even easier, go yet yourself a package of preshredded mozzarella.  They come in conveniently premeasured 8 ounce bags, which coincidently equals ½ pound.

1 black or Kalamata olive, sliced lengthwise

Egg white

For any mummy you choose to make, the assembly and baking steps are the same.  First of all, if using frozen, thaw your bread dough and let rise until doubled.  Punch that bitch down and roll it out into a rectangular shape, about the size of a cookie sheet.  If using the canned refrigerated dough, simply pop the can open and roll or use hands to shape to size.  Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.

Once dough is rolled out into its rectangular shape, spread filling(s) down the center lengthwise, about 1/3 the width of the dough itself (take a deep breath, I have photos, okay?)

Decide which end is going to be the mummy head, and about 3 inches down the side from that, use a paring knife and cut 6 diagonal slits (about 1 inch wide each) down each side of the mummy dough.  Leave about 2-3 inches at the “feet” end if possible.

Wrap the sides of the head end in first, then fold over the top flap.  After that, carefully criss-cross the slits across the top of the mummy, pinching seams as you go.  When you get to the foot end, fold ends the same as with the head end.  Using your hands, carefully mold into a more mummy like shape, indenting at the head and feet ends. 

Once you are done shaping and pinching seams in the dough, brush with egg white.  Yes, I realize many of you freaks have no idea how to separate an egg, much less own a basting brush for anything other than BBQ’ing, so you can skip this step if you must,  but try to at least brush the Yummy Mummy with some melted butter or give it a shot with some nonstick cooking spray.  It gives a nice color to the finished product and promotes browning, okay?  After brushing or spraying, place two chosen objects (olives, cherries, almonds, etc.) on the head area for eyes.  

Place into the preheated oven and bake for approximately 30 minutes, less or more depending on how browned you like your bread.

After removing from oven, dust with powdered sugar, sprinkle with parmesan cheese, or whatever you feel like doing to make it more decorative and mummy looking.

Lessons learned/tips/tricks/ideas:

Make sure your dough is pinched tight before brushing with the egg white or basting with butter/oil.  I made a Yummy Mummy that had cream cheese and raspberry filling, brushed it with the egg while there were still gaps, and the thing came out of the oven looking like a Frankenstein’s zombie monster/weird alien worm thing.  Seriously…it was embarrassing.

I think Mexican flavors would really do this justice.  I envision Yummy Mummies filled with salsa, cheese, beans/chicken/taco beef, olives, etc.  Take that Taco Bell and your sadistic, yet delicious, Doritos Locos Taco!

How cool would this look as a Christmas tree?  Yep, already making plans….

An End to End a Season:

So, sadly, another Halloween season has come to an end.  I know you are all very concerned and wondering, what does that mean?  How will that affect Feeding the Freaks? Should I be worried?  Well, fellow freaks, Mama Lanette and Alyssa JoJo have only three words…Thanksgiving and Christmas!  Woot woot!  Join us in November for TG delights galore, and in December for all sort of ideas for parties and family gatherings.  We have stacks and stacks of food magazines, along with the world wide web to surf, and we will do our best to find/create the finest and freakiest holiday creations for you to share with your loved ones.

Next week, fellow freaks!  <3  Mama Lanette

Spaghetti Brain (Braided Spaghetti)

Now if you're like me you are addicted to Pinterest... and that is exactly where I got this idea. There are plenty of things you can do with this to make it fun for Halloween. Like coloring the dough red or anything along those lines. Now this recipe isn't as picture heavy as our normal ones just for the fact that I was baking so many things at the time that I totally forgot to take some of the pictures. But this is something that is totally worth making. Everyone loved it and it was way easier than I thought it was going to be.

Ingredients:
1 loaf of frozen bread dough. (I used Rhodes)
6 ounces of spaghetti, cooked
1 cup of thick spaghetti sauce
8 ounces of mozzerlla cheese
Parmesan cheese
Parsley flakes

First thaw out your loaf of bread. Place some flour on a table and slowly roll out the dough until it's about the same size as a cookie sheet. This may take some time since the frozen loaf already has it's shape - but if you take your time with it, it will soon flatten out.

Once your dough is flattened out, lay it on a cookie sheet, and with a pair of kitchen scissors cut some slices on the edge; making sure they are about 1 inch thick tabs. We will be using these to make the braided look once the bread is full. Lay about half of the cheese down, then the cooked noodles, then the spaghetti sauce, and end with the remaining cheese.

Once everything is layered in on each end take your end tabs and lay them straight down over the spaghetti. Then take the remaining tabs on the side and slowly layer them over each other to make them look braided. Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese and parsley flakes.

Bake at 350 degrees for around 30-35 minutes. (Until the bread is a nice golden brown) Cool slightly and then cut into 6 pieces for serving.







Now, like I said there are many things you can do to this recipe to make it yours. Add pepperoni and do it pizza style. You could do chicken, broccoli, and cheese to veer from the Italian mood completely. No matter what this is something that will always be delicious, and the people you feed it to will believe that you spent a lot of time making them dinner! It's a win win situation.

Peanut Butter Eyeballs

Makes approximately 4 dozen

These are delicious!  Big freaks love them because they are really cool looking and make a great Halloween party snack.  Little freaks love them because they can pretend to be all gross by eating eyeballs.  Also, who doesn’t love peanut butter?!?!?   AND, not only are they peanut butter, they are also smothered in white or dark chocolate and topped with a tasty chocolate button!  

Seriously, you CANNOT be human if you are able to resist this combination. You very obviously just stepped off the spaceship and are masquerading as an earthling, scanning our brain waves, lurking in the background, just waiting for the perfect moment to beam us up into your spaceship and imprison us in some sort of pod-shaped device, subjecting us to a horrific anal probing and other nightmarish procedures.  (I will pay you one million space bucks if you take the SOB first) 

Or perhaps you are a fanger trying to seamlessly incorporate yourself into the human world, trying so hard to be one of us by nourishing yourself from sterile bags of blood bank blood because you glamoured the night clerk at the local Red Cross location... Well,  let me tell you, any human worth their ounces in the red stuff knows that bagged blood just ain't the same for you vamps.  We are well aware of the fact that  one night you will succumb to your inner beast while sitting in a bar pretending to drink a glass of wine, pulsing jugulars surrounding you and taunting you, until finally they drive you over the edge, and there you go on a mass killing spree of horror and carnage. 

Yep, and now we know the secret to the exposure of nonhumans; peanut...butter...eyeballs...  I for one, plan on making lots and lots of these to carry around with me Halloween weekend.  I personally believe that walking up to a suspicious-looking stranger, shoving a peanut butter eyeball in their face and shouting, "show yourself demon!" is a perfectly reasonable and sane maneuver in the fight for humanity, and those jerks at the Acute Psychiatric Unit can go to hell...

                

 Ingredients

2 cups powdered sugar

1 cup creamy peanut butter

6 tablespoons butter, softened

1 pound white candy coating or almond bark

4-5 dozen brown candy coated chocolate buttons (M&M sort)

Icing

1 cup powdered sugar

1 tablespoon water

Red food coloring

In a mixer, combine powdered sugar, peanut butter, and butter.  Shape into 1 inch balls and place on a waxed paper lined cookie sheet.  Chill for 30 minutes.  (if you don’t have a mixer, just use your hands)

Melt candy coating or almond bark according to package instructions.  Dip balls in coating and place on waxed paper.  Place one chocolate button on each eyeball before candy coating hardens.  Let stand for 30 minutes until candy coating has hardened and set.

In a small bowl, combine powdered sugar and food coloring, adding more food coloring until desired color.  Add water in small amounts at a time until icing is desired consistency, not too stiff and not too runny.   Place icing into a plastic zipper bag and snip a very small corner off.  Use this as a piping bag to finish decorating the eyeballs.

Hints:

These can be made for other holidays also.  Simply substitute the white candy coating with chocolate candy coating and omit the decorations, or add other decorations more appropriate to the season.  You can even add a different color of food coloring to the icing and drizzle over them for a decorative appearance.

See you next week, fellow Freaks!  <3  Mama Lanette

Chocolate Spider Web Cupcakes

Cupcakes!?! Seriously, that is all you need to say to capture my attention. Whenever I see these heavenly little things, I secretly think, "mmm....CUUUUUPCAAAAAAKEEEEES!!!"  I will cut a bitch over a cupcake.  Imagine the power of the Hulk in the Avengers mixed with the excitement of Will Ferrell in the movie Elf right before he realized the department store Santa was a fake, and there you have it....cupcakes is serious business to me! The sad thing is, it's really hard to find a good cupcake in my town unless they are homemade. Our "specialty" bakeries that focus on them are not anything to brag about. Luckily, when I get to go see the BF in Wausau, WI, I get to hit up Sweet Lola's who has AMAZING and very creative cupcakes. (They have a Nutella one. Yeah, that's right, now I have you drooling.) All in all, though, we don't always have the time or energy to whip up a batch from scratch, and sometimes we feel a slight guilt about it. Nevertheless, you could also be one of those people where the idea of actually making cupcakes makes you giggle a bit inside as you relax with a glass of wine and a clean kitchen. In the end I have a recipe that works for everyone. It's a box mix with a little extra love added into it!

 Ingredients

1 cup of water
1 box of cake mix of your choice. As you can see, I quite obviously picked Betty Crocker's Chocolate Fudge
3 grade A large eggs
1 stick of non-salted butter
Cupcake wrappers
1 tub of white icing, found in any bakery area in your local grocery store

Melt the stick of butter in a large bowl.  Add the cake mix, eggs, and water.

Using a mixer, mix for one minute on low speed (or mix by hand until all batter is smooth). After that, blend the mixture for one minute on high (or find a big guy with muscles who can whip that up into a frenzy). You will see it start to fluff during the minute on high.






Now, in a cupcake pan, lay your cupcake wrappers down. Using either an ice cream scoop or melon baller, add your batter into the liners . If you have an ice cream scoop, do one scoop, for a melon baller, add three scoops. If you don't own either, use a spoon and fill them til they are half way full. (Don't feel bad if all you have is a spoon! That's all I had until I borrowed my friends melon baller. That thing sat in my purse for three days before I remembered to take I had it.) Bake the cupcakes at 350 for 10-20 minutes. Check with tooth pick to make sure cupcakes are done. To do this poke cupcake with a toothpick and once the toothpick comes out clean your cupcakes are done!

Once these are finished you should be seeing something along the lines of this. Those creases you are seeing are  because I had to do the three scoop option. If you have an ice cream scoop you wont be seeing those. But these puppies are going to have lovely frosting all on top of them so why do we care?


 Now, let's talk frosting. Feel free to just use store bought frosting if you want! But for me - I was trying to get these to taste as close to home made as possible. For the frosting I used Hershey's Perfectly Chocolate frosting recipe. I don't have a picture of the ingredients but I will set ya up nicely for this recipe.

Ingredients
One stick of butter
2/3 cups of cocoa (I used Hershey because it's what I had)
3 cups of powdered sugar
1/3 cup of milk
1 tsp of vanilla extract

 Put cocoa and butter into bowl and mix until creamy. Now take the powdered sugar and milk and add them into the bowl alternately, blending the whole time. Feel free to use extra milk if you need to. Once powdered sugar and milk aare completely mixed with the butter, add the cocoa and vanilla, and mix  well. Load this stuff onto your cupcakes and then use your tube of white icing/frosting to make the spider web look.

Stuffed Pepper Jack-O-Lanterns

I must say, I really think this is a genius idea, and very sadly, not mine.  I think it is a great dish when trying to incorporate children into the meal making process.  Even 43-year-old Mama Lanette and the SOB get into the miniature pumpkin carving that this meal requires; who doesn’t love carving Jack-O-Lanterns this time of year, and seriously, stuffed pepper Jack-O-Lanterns?!? Madness, I say….madness!  Another bonus, these are far less messy and exponentially more delicious than their pumpkin counterparts.  Believe you me, this is one Jack-O-Lantern that will NOT sit out on the front porch after October 31, perched there day after day, slowly becoming a gelatinous, moldy, mass of goo that the entire family ends up fighting over right before Thanksgiving time.  Seriously, I am NOT cleaning that crap up, I do enough around here.  FYI:  Fortunately for Mama Lanette, the City of Minneapolis supplies an abundance of juvenile delinquent, pumpkin-smashing teens.  There is also a large population of ghetto squirrels that absolutely love Halloween time and all the glorious food left out on front porches for them to stuff into their little bastard squirrel mouths, making them extra nourished and strong so they can terrorize the dog all winter long.

Anyway, children or not, try this recipe.  It is fun, low in fat, and delicious! 

Ingredients

6 orange bell peppers

1 pound ground beef or turkey (I use turkey)

2 cups cooked rice

1 14-ounce can diced tomatoes (my favorite is Hunt’s Fire-Roasted)

1 rib celery, diced

1 clove garlic, minced
1 teaspoon dried basil

Salt and pepper to taste

Olive oil for sautéing

Preparing the Peppers

Slice tops off of peppers.  Scoop out seeds and ribs.  Using a small knife or pumpkin carving saws, carve as desired.

Preparing the Filling
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  In a hot pan, brown ground beef or turkey.  Add celery, onions, and garlic.  Saute’ approximately 10 minutes, adding olive oil if needed so ingredients do not burn or dry out.

Next, in a large bowl, add cooked rice, tomatoes, and basil.  Mix ground meat mixture into the rice/tomato mixture.  Add salt and pepper to taste.  Stir until all ingredients are incorporated.  Spoon mixture into the prepared peppers.  Place tops back upon the peppers and place them into a baking dish.  Bake for 45 minutes to 1 hour, depending on how well cooked you want the peppers.  I like mine soft so I can cut through them with a fork, but some people prefer them to still have a bit of crunch.

 

On a side note:  These can be made year On round.  The orange peppers are not necessary, just fun for the Halloween season.  Green peppers are the traditional choice, and are FAR cheaper.  Stuffed peppers are one of those dishes in which everybody has “best” recipe, much like chili, sloppy joes, and meatloaf.  If you want to be creative, go for it.  Add some Mexican flare with chili powder, salsa, and black beans if so desired.  My mother always made her stuffed peppers with a  little bit of sour cream mixed in with the meat and rice (minus the tomatoes), giving them a stroganoff-like flavor, and then poured tomato juice into the baking dish, leaving it for us to ladle on top of the peppers after cooking. If you are looking for a vegetarian version, omit the meat and add some beans, or not, they are just as tasty with only the rice and veggies! 

Until next week,  fellow freaks!  <3 Mama Lanette