Mandarin Orange Salad

One of the Thanksgiving side dish mainstays in Mama Lanette’s family of freaks is a Mandarin orange salad.  It is a yearly request, nay, demand by both Alyssa JoJo and Grandma JoyJoy.  I am NOT allowed to experiment with anything new…ever.  Alyssa JoJo would not touch this when she was growing up, and one year she decided to “try it” (as she said with her freckled nose all scrunched up).  Her post-taste thoughts?  “I’m only mad that I went so many years NOT eating this!”  While the combination of fruit mixed with vegetables sounds odd to many people, it seems to be much more common on restaurant menus now than in the past (spinach and strawberry salad is my personal fave, but arugula with cherries and pistachios is a pretty close runner up).  Almost everybody who tries this salad loves it, and because of the “tiny oranges”, children are more apt to give it a shot.  I’ve altered this a bit from the original; using red onion and flavored vinegar rather than green onions and plain vinegar, but the end result, no matter which version is made, is delicious.  Oh, and I also use green leaf rather than iceberg lettuce (see lettuce rant below).

Lettuce Rant!  I cannot post this in good faith without including a small rant regarding iceberg lettuce.  Iceberg lettuce has zero nutritional value, as well as zero taste.  It is nothing but water and turns rusty brown within minutes of chopping.  It serves no purpose whatsoever as far as I am concerned.  Stop buying that crap, freaks!!!  Get yourself some green leaf or romaine.  Buy a bag of mixed baby lettuces.  Anything, anything other than iceberg lettuce!  When I go to a restaurant and order a salad and they bring it to me with iceberg, I literally want to throw it at the server.  These days, before ordering, I ask what kind of lettuce they use.  Yes, it results in some odd looks, but I just don’t care anymore.   The SOB would be more than a little irked if he had to pick Mama Lanette up at the po-po station because of a lettuce-induced public fiasco.  Also, seriously people?  Stop being a salad racist!  In the words of the wise and hysterical Margaret Cho, “This is not the salad of my people.”  Just because it has Mandarin oranges on it does NOT mean you can call it an Asian salad.  Do we call a hunk of tasteless iceberg lettuce drowned in Ranch dressing and Bac-O’s a Caucasian salad?  I think not.  Leave the salads out of the compartmentalizing process that seems to be the norm, and just eat them.  They are delicious and good for you…enough said.

Mandarin Orange Salad Ingredients

Sugared Almonds

½ cup sliced almonds

3 tablespoons white sugar

Salad Base

½ head green leaf lettuce

½ head romaine

1 cup celery, chopped

½ small red onion, very thinly sliced into half rings

1 11 ounce can mandarin oranges, drained (If I know a lot of kids will be around, I put two cans of mandarin oranges in.  It keeps them from picking all the oranges out, leaving none for the serious salad eaters.)

 

Dressing

½ teaspoon salt

Dash of black pepper

¼ cup extra virgin olive oil

1 tablespoon parsley, chopped

2 tablespoons white sugar

2 tablespoons vinegar, for this post, I used Raspberry blush vinegar, but red wine, balsamic, pomegranate, apple cider, virtually any kind of vinegar will work…just use what you have or what you like, and you will not be disappointed.

Dash of hot sauce (such as Tabasco), or not.  I’ve found it really doesn’t make a difference in the flavor of the dressing.

In a small pan over medium heat, cook almonds and sugar, stirring constantly until almonds are coated and sugar dissolved.  Watch carefully, as they WILL burn easily.   Listen up, freaks, I know this from personal experience and am trying to spare you the frustration of a failed sugared almond experience.  You can stand there and stir and stir and stir, it will look like it is doing nothing, and as soon as you turn your back to throw back a slug of Riesling, bam…burnt nuts!  If this part of the recipe seems like too much work for you, you can purchase honeyed almonds, or just use plain sliced almonds.  No shame included…I’ve done it myself upon occasion.  Cool and store nuts in an airtight container. 

Mix all dressing ingredients and chill.  For me, the easiest way to blend dressing is to place all ingredients in a jar or plastic storage container that has a screw top lid.  Once all ingredients are added, shake, shake, shake, shake it like a Polaroid picture, hey ya!  (I really miss Outkast, what happened to them?) It will separate, as oil and vinegar naturally will, but you know what?  Shake that bitch up again!  That is the beauty of the process, no whisk or special emulsifier needed…just an old jelly jar or screw top plastic storage container (the Ziploc brand are rather spectacular for preventing leaks, I must say).

Mix lettuces, celery and onions in a large salad bowl.  Now, regarding the lettuce…if you want to use only romaine, then do so.  If you want to use only green leaf, then do so.  Use any lettuce and any combination of lettuce that is easiest for you…except for iceberg.  Please don’t make me come over and go Reservoir Dogs on your ass.

Just before serving, top with oranges and almonds.  Toss with dressing.  Sit back and watch the wondrous splendor that flits over your guest’s faces after they have chewed and tasted their very first bite.  As an aside, if you serve this salad to a large group of peeps, some of whom have had it before, and some of whom have never had it before, let the never hadders get their servings first.  I’ve found that once it is set out for eating, the Mandarin orange salad lovers swoop over it like birds of prey over roadkill, leaving nothing but a lone shred of lettuce and perhaps an onion slice in the bowl. 

Stay tuned over the weekend and early next week, fellow freaks!  Alyssa JoJo and I have a plethora of last minute ideas for you!  <3  Mama Lanette