Yummy Mummies

So, Mama Lanette had a Halloween Potluck at her day job today, which required a lot of extra thinking and creativity.  After all, the Feeder of the Freaks cannot show up at her Halloween Potluck with just any old thing!  I have a reputation now, and I must live up to it…(tapping pencil) what to do…what to do???

Being the Midwestern, raised-on-beer-with-a-frighteningly-high-alcohol-tolerance, good-time gal that I am, the first thought that came to mind was Caramel Apple Jello Shots.  Sounds delish, but alcohol at the work place is somewhat discouraged (watch for this recipe in the very near future, though).  Peanut butter eyeballs?  Eh, been there, done that.  After days and days of ruminating and pondering, a black light bulb suddenly popped on over my head!  Mummy bread!  If people can turn bread dough and fillings into stuffed braids, why can’t the braid also be altered to look like a bandaged up mummy?  Oh, the possibilities!!!  What to stuff them with?  Savory or sweet?  Fruity or chocolate?  Meat filled or (oh, the horror!) vegetable filled?

Well, as Mama Lanette does when faced with indecision, she sighs, takes a very deep breath, blindly dives in, makes many of each, and hopes for the best. The end result?  A delicious Apple Yummy Mummy and a Pizza Yummy Mummy; both of which were well received at the potluck, and formally named Yummy Mummies.  The Pizza Yummy Mummy won favor hands down, though.  (The SOB ate an entire Pizza Yummy Mummy the evening before while Mama Lanette was experimenting.)  The Pizza Yummy Mummy disappeared from the potluck table in 10 minutes flat, which is something spectacular because the people I work with can make some REALLY TASTY FOOD.  The Apple Yummy Mummy, while delicious, was surrounded by several competing delectable desserts, so there was a bit of that one left.  Finding the lucky recipient to take the remainder home was a fairly simple task, however.  I really didn’t want to bring it home, as I’m still recovering from the Minnesota State Fair Feeding Frenzy of 2012.

Once the technique of the dough is grasped, the number of Yummy Mummies flavor possiblities is endless.  They can virtually be stuffed with anything you would want on a pastry, pizza, taco, etc.  Anything that tastes yummo on top of bread is just as delish inside of bread.  It can be as simple or as complicated as you choose to make it.  Make your own dough, buy frozen bread dough, or use cans of poppin’ fresh refrigerated dough.  Whatever kind of dough you use, the end result is going to be one heck of a yummy mummy!  Below are the recipes for the two I made and brought to work; however, BE CREATIVE, fellow freaks!  If you keep listening to what I tell you to do and follow my advice blindly, I may just develop a superiority complex, and trust you me…nobody who knows me wants that to happen…ever.

Apple Pie Yummy Mummy Ingredients (makes 1)

1 pound frozen bread dough, thawed (I used Rhodes brand sweet bread dough)

1 can apple pie filling

Powdered sugar for dusting

Two eye shaped things, like chocolate chips, toasted almonds, maraschino cherries, etc.

Egg white

Pizza Yummy Mummy Ingredients (makes 1)

1 pound frozen bread or pizza dough, thawed (I used Rhodes brand pizza dough)

½ to 1 cup pizza sauce, depending on how well you like pizza sauce (I’m a saucy kinda gal)

½ pound hot Italian Sausage, browned and crumbled

½ package sliced pepperoni, or 1 diced pepperoni link (comes in a package of 2 links, but they last a long time, so don’t worry about the extra going bad…or just make two of the damn things, for crying out loud.

½ pound mozzarella cheese, shredded or very thinly sliced.  To make things even easier, go yet yourself a package of preshredded mozzarella.  They come in conveniently premeasured 8 ounce bags, which coincidently equals ½ pound.

1 black or Kalamata olive, sliced lengthwise

Egg white

For any mummy you choose to make, the assembly and baking steps are the same.  First of all, if using frozen, thaw your bread dough and let rise until doubled.  Punch that bitch down and roll it out into a rectangular shape, about the size of a cookie sheet.  If using the canned refrigerated dough, simply pop the can open and roll or use hands to shape to size.  Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.

Once dough is rolled out into its rectangular shape, spread filling(s) down the center lengthwise, about 1/3 the width of the dough itself (take a deep breath, I have photos, okay?)

Decide which end is going to be the mummy head, and about 3 inches down the side from that, use a paring knife and cut 6 diagonal slits (about 1 inch wide each) down each side of the mummy dough.  Leave about 2-3 inches at the “feet” end if possible.

Wrap the sides of the head end in first, then fold over the top flap.  After that, carefully criss-cross the slits across the top of the mummy, pinching seams as you go.  When you get to the foot end, fold ends the same as with the head end.  Using your hands, carefully mold into a more mummy like shape, indenting at the head and feet ends. 

Once you are done shaping and pinching seams in the dough, brush with egg white.  Yes, I realize many of you freaks have no idea how to separate an egg, much less own a basting brush for anything other than BBQ’ing, so you can skip this step if you must,  but try to at least brush the Yummy Mummy with some melted butter or give it a shot with some nonstick cooking spray.  It gives a nice color to the finished product and promotes browning, okay?  After brushing or spraying, place two chosen objects (olives, cherries, almonds, etc.) on the head area for eyes.  

Place into the preheated oven and bake for approximately 30 minutes, less or more depending on how browned you like your bread.

After removing from oven, dust with powdered sugar, sprinkle with parmesan cheese, or whatever you feel like doing to make it more decorative and mummy looking.

Lessons learned/tips/tricks/ideas:

Make sure your dough is pinched tight before brushing with the egg white or basting with butter/oil.  I made a Yummy Mummy that had cream cheese and raspberry filling, brushed it with the egg while there were still gaps, and the thing came out of the oven looking like a Frankenstein’s zombie monster/weird alien worm thing.  Seriously…it was embarrassing.

I think Mexican flavors would really do this justice.  I envision Yummy Mummies filled with salsa, cheese, beans/chicken/taco beef, olives, etc.  Take that Taco Bell and your sadistic, yet delicious, Doritos Locos Taco!

How cool would this look as a Christmas tree?  Yep, already making plans….

An End to End a Season:

So, sadly, another Halloween season has come to an end.  I know you are all very concerned and wondering, what does that mean?  How will that affect Feeding the Freaks? Should I be worried?  Well, fellow freaks, Mama Lanette and Alyssa JoJo have only three words…Thanksgiving and Christmas!  Woot woot!  Join us in November for TG delights galore, and in December for all sort of ideas for parties and family gatherings.  We have stacks and stacks of food magazines, along with the world wide web to surf, and we will do our best to find/create the finest and freakiest holiday creations for you to share with your loved ones.

Next week, fellow freaks!  <3  Mama Lanette

Spaghetti Brain (Braided Spaghetti)

Now if you're like me you are addicted to Pinterest... and that is exactly where I got this idea. There are plenty of things you can do with this to make it fun for Halloween. Like coloring the dough red or anything along those lines. Now this recipe isn't as picture heavy as our normal ones just for the fact that I was baking so many things at the time that I totally forgot to take some of the pictures. But this is something that is totally worth making. Everyone loved it and it was way easier than I thought it was going to be.

Ingredients:
1 loaf of frozen bread dough. (I used Rhodes)
6 ounces of spaghetti, cooked
1 cup of thick spaghetti sauce
8 ounces of mozzerlla cheese
Parmesan cheese
Parsley flakes

First thaw out your loaf of bread. Place some flour on a table and slowly roll out the dough until it's about the same size as a cookie sheet. This may take some time since the frozen loaf already has it's shape - but if you take your time with it, it will soon flatten out.

Once your dough is flattened out, lay it on a cookie sheet, and with a pair of kitchen scissors cut some slices on the edge; making sure they are about 1 inch thick tabs. We will be using these to make the braided look once the bread is full. Lay about half of the cheese down, then the cooked noodles, then the spaghetti sauce, and end with the remaining cheese.

Once everything is layered in on each end take your end tabs and lay them straight down over the spaghetti. Then take the remaining tabs on the side and slowly layer them over each other to make them look braided. Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese and parsley flakes.

Bake at 350 degrees for around 30-35 minutes. (Until the bread is a nice golden brown) Cool slightly and then cut into 6 pieces for serving.







Now, like I said there are many things you can do to this recipe to make it yours. Add pepperoni and do it pizza style. You could do chicken, broccoli, and cheese to veer from the Italian mood completely. No matter what this is something that will always be delicious, and the people you feed it to will believe that you spent a lot of time making them dinner! It's a win win situation.

Peanut Butter Eyeballs

Makes approximately 4 dozen

These are delicious!  Big freaks love them because they are really cool looking and make a great Halloween party snack.  Little freaks love them because they can pretend to be all gross by eating eyeballs.  Also, who doesn’t love peanut butter?!?!?   AND, not only are they peanut butter, they are also smothered in white or dark chocolate and topped with a tasty chocolate button!  

Seriously, you CANNOT be human if you are able to resist this combination. You very obviously just stepped off the spaceship and are masquerading as an earthling, scanning our brain waves, lurking in the background, just waiting for the perfect moment to beam us up into your spaceship and imprison us in some sort of pod-shaped device, subjecting us to a horrific anal probing and other nightmarish procedures.  (I will pay you one million space bucks if you take the SOB first) 

Or perhaps you are a fanger trying to seamlessly incorporate yourself into the human world, trying so hard to be one of us by nourishing yourself from sterile bags of blood bank blood because you glamoured the night clerk at the local Red Cross location... Well,  let me tell you, any human worth their ounces in the red stuff knows that bagged blood just ain't the same for you vamps.  We are well aware of the fact that  one night you will succumb to your inner beast while sitting in a bar pretending to drink a glass of wine, pulsing jugulars surrounding you and taunting you, until finally they drive you over the edge, and there you go on a mass killing spree of horror and carnage. 

Yep, and now we know the secret to the exposure of nonhumans; peanut...butter...eyeballs...  I for one, plan on making lots and lots of these to carry around with me Halloween weekend.  I personally believe that walking up to a suspicious-looking stranger, shoving a peanut butter eyeball in their face and shouting, "show yourself demon!" is a perfectly reasonable and sane maneuver in the fight for humanity, and those jerks at the Acute Psychiatric Unit can go to hell...

                

 Ingredients

2 cups powdered sugar

1 cup creamy peanut butter

6 tablespoons butter, softened

1 pound white candy coating or almond bark

4-5 dozen brown candy coated chocolate buttons (M&M sort)

Icing

1 cup powdered sugar

1 tablespoon water

Red food coloring

In a mixer, combine powdered sugar, peanut butter, and butter.  Shape into 1 inch balls and place on a waxed paper lined cookie sheet.  Chill for 30 minutes.  (if you don’t have a mixer, just use your hands)

Melt candy coating or almond bark according to package instructions.  Dip balls in coating and place on waxed paper.  Place one chocolate button on each eyeball before candy coating hardens.  Let stand for 30 minutes until candy coating has hardened and set.

In a small bowl, combine powdered sugar and food coloring, adding more food coloring until desired color.  Add water in small amounts at a time until icing is desired consistency, not too stiff and not too runny.   Place icing into a plastic zipper bag and snip a very small corner off.  Use this as a piping bag to finish decorating the eyeballs.

Hints:

These can be made for other holidays also.  Simply substitute the white candy coating with chocolate candy coating and omit the decorations, or add other decorations more appropriate to the season.  You can even add a different color of food coloring to the icing and drizzle over them for a decorative appearance.

See you next week, fellow Freaks!  <3  Mama Lanette

Chocolate Spider Web Cupcakes

Cupcakes!?! Seriously, that is all you need to say to capture my attention. Whenever I see these heavenly little things, I secretly think, "mmm....CUUUUUPCAAAAAAKEEEEES!!!"  I will cut a bitch over a cupcake.  Imagine the power of the Hulk in the Avengers mixed with the excitement of Will Ferrell in the movie Elf right before he realized the department store Santa was a fake, and there you have it....cupcakes is serious business to me! The sad thing is, it's really hard to find a good cupcake in my town unless they are homemade. Our "specialty" bakeries that focus on them are not anything to brag about. Luckily, when I get to go see the BF in Wausau, WI, I get to hit up Sweet Lola's who has AMAZING and very creative cupcakes. (They have a Nutella one. Yeah, that's right, now I have you drooling.) All in all, though, we don't always have the time or energy to whip up a batch from scratch, and sometimes we feel a slight guilt about it. Nevertheless, you could also be one of those people where the idea of actually making cupcakes makes you giggle a bit inside as you relax with a glass of wine and a clean kitchen. In the end I have a recipe that works for everyone. It's a box mix with a little extra love added into it!

 Ingredients

1 cup of water
1 box of cake mix of your choice. As you can see, I quite obviously picked Betty Crocker's Chocolate Fudge
3 grade A large eggs
1 stick of non-salted butter
Cupcake wrappers
1 tub of white icing, found in any bakery area in your local grocery store

Melt the stick of butter in a large bowl.  Add the cake mix, eggs, and water.

Using a mixer, mix for one minute on low speed (or mix by hand until all batter is smooth). After that, blend the mixture for one minute on high (or find a big guy with muscles who can whip that up into a frenzy). You will see it start to fluff during the minute on high.






Now, in a cupcake pan, lay your cupcake wrappers down. Using either an ice cream scoop or melon baller, add your batter into the liners . If you have an ice cream scoop, do one scoop, for a melon baller, add three scoops. If you don't own either, use a spoon and fill them til they are half way full. (Don't feel bad if all you have is a spoon! That's all I had until I borrowed my friends melon baller. That thing sat in my purse for three days before I remembered to take I had it.) Bake the cupcakes at 350 for 10-20 minutes. Check with tooth pick to make sure cupcakes are done. To do this poke cupcake with a toothpick and once the toothpick comes out clean your cupcakes are done!

Once these are finished you should be seeing something along the lines of this. Those creases you are seeing are  because I had to do the three scoop option. If you have an ice cream scoop you wont be seeing those. But these puppies are going to have lovely frosting all on top of them so why do we care?


 Now, let's talk frosting. Feel free to just use store bought frosting if you want! But for me - I was trying to get these to taste as close to home made as possible. For the frosting I used Hershey's Perfectly Chocolate frosting recipe. I don't have a picture of the ingredients but I will set ya up nicely for this recipe.

Ingredients
One stick of butter
2/3 cups of cocoa (I used Hershey because it's what I had)
3 cups of powdered sugar
1/3 cup of milk
1 tsp of vanilla extract

 Put cocoa and butter into bowl and mix until creamy. Now take the powdered sugar and milk and add them into the bowl alternately, blending the whole time. Feel free to use extra milk if you need to. Once powdered sugar and milk aare completely mixed with the butter, add the cocoa and vanilla, and mix  well. Load this stuff onto your cupcakes and then use your tube of white icing/frosting to make the spider web look.

Deviled Eggs into Devil Eyes

The leaves have turned, the air is cool, and fall is here. I love fall. I love everything about it. And it holds my two favorite holidays; Halloween and Thanksgiving. As Mama Lanette already said we will be dedicating our blog for the month of October to Halloween, and let me tell you, I'm pumped!!! I started my Halloween cheer early this year at our local Zombie Pub crawl where I dressed like a zombie pickle. Yes, you heard right - and are seeing right - a zombie pickle. It was dill and it was kosher. The BF went as a zombie lumberjack which worked out well with his 6 foot frame and his Duck Dynasty-like beard. I wish I could provide more details on how exactly the crawl went, but this little pickle got pretty pickled, and the only thing I really remember is hitting up a local grilled cheese restaurant and eating something that was very, very delicious.

So, my first Halloween themed recipe is a play off of deviled eggs to make them look like eyes. Aka, Devil Eyes.

Ingredients:
6 grade A eggs
2 tablespoons of Mayo - I used mayo with olive oil
2 tablespoons of sour cream
1 teaspoon of yellow mustard.
Garlic powder, salt, and pepper to taste.
Paprika for dusting.
Can of sliced black olives.





Now lets talk boiling eggs. I know, it sounds weird. Most of us are just, "Well...you put them in water and boil. The end." My method is to boil them and walk away until I remember them. But there is a method for the perfect boiled egg. No egg white in your water. No green tint to the outside of your egg yolk. What you do is you place your eggs in a single layer on the bottom of your pot and add cold water until it's 1-2 inches above the eggs. Bring water to a full boil and then take off the burner and cover for 10 minutes. And there you go - perfect boiled eggs. I really don't see my self ever doing this unless I had someone to impress though! Haha.

 Now once the eggs have been boiled and cooled down (you can use a bowl of ice water to hurry that up), take the shell off of the eggs and cut them in half. In one container put the egg yolks in while leaving the egg whites in another container. Mix mayo, sour cream, mustard, salt, pepper, garlic powder, and egg yolks by mushing with a fork and then whipping with a fork until creamy. Feel free to taste to see if you want to add in extra of any ingredient.

Now to get the mixture into the egg whites there are plenty of ways you can go around it. You can use some cake piping and tips. This is if you want to get fancy with it and have one of those neat swoops. Now personally, this isn't really going to be needed if you want to add the eyes. We will be pressing them into the egg yolk mixture, so anything fancy will end up being messed up. What I did was use a half a tablespoon to scoop it in. With it being smaller than a spoon and a little more round it helped me get it into their nicer. You can also use a butter knife to help with any mixture that doesn't want to come out of the tablespoon. Lastly we are going to pop open that can of black olives and take out one slice for each egg and place it in the middle of the egg yolk area on the egg. This will be what makes them look like deviled eyes. Lastly, dust with paprika in any way you want and BOOM! You're done!